Spider lilies and simple pleasures.

Introduction post; hello.

2015-08-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

Posted: 08/12/08 [age 17]
Mood: Indescribably emotional
Music: Gackt-"Last Song" Unplugged
Location: Home in East Ridge

Hello all,
I have created this blog solely for the purpose of having a public (non-friend locked) blog. Well, that is the superficial reason.

The real reason I have created this blog is so when I leave "the family nest" so to speak my family will have some means of keeping up with me. I do not plan on living and dying in the same town I was born in; I want to see the world. So I will not have time to visit or even contact with my relatives. And I would like to think that they gave a damn about my adventures and mishaps so I will give them the link to this blog when I leave in a couple of years time.

I will not disclose my thoughts in this blog; only events. I have a private Live Journal -letsdancemagic- in which I keep my thoughts on issues, etc.

This blog will be very superficial, but also very blunt.

To my family: You will probably not discover this blog until a couple of years after it has been started; therefor you are several posts behind. You may view the old posts if you wish, just use the calender/archive option to the side of the blog posts.

As I said before, this blog will be very blunt. Things I would normally keep secret from you will be revealed and my image to you will probably be ruined. So only look back and read this journal at your own risk.

If you also wish to leave a comment on the blog just click on the comment link at the bottom of the post.

Remember I love you all, even if I don't really show it. And this blog is created for you, so please enjoy it!

New plan

2008-11-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

Mood: indifferent
Music: Enya-"Amarantine"
Location: Home in East Ridge

Well it looks like I'll fail this semester. And even if I did pass mom already told me she wouldn't pay for next semester so....poop.

I think I'll just go and get my GED get two job over the spring semester then sign up for all dance classes in the summer and save up more money.

What I think I will end up doing is saving up a lot of money then move to Seattle in the Fall and live there for a year then apply to the University of Washington and Major in Dance Education and Minor in Business management with a concentration in Japanese.

Yeah, that sounds like a good plan for now.

Sneak, snark and giggles.

2008-10-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Mood: Okay, still reeling from that awesome high.
Location: Home in East Ridge
Music: David Bowie-"Absolute Beginners"

This weekend Jessica and Mother left for Kentucky.

On Saturday I invited Rachel and James over and we got BLAZED.
Amazing, because we only could get a dime... The drought is making it hard for any good pot to grow. The dealer probably laced it to make it stronger, it would've been really weak if it weren't I'm sure.

Anyway. It was awesome! I'd never been that high before.

This family and town will be the death of me

2008-10-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Mood: bitter
Music: MGMT-"Time to Pretend"
Location: East Ridge

Dear Mother,
You are a very negative person. Have you ever thought any happy thoughts in your life? I don't remember anytime that I have heard you encourage me; you only have negative things to say.

Have you ever thought that maybe way I've become so rude to you is because I am trying to distance myself as far away from you as I can? And maybe the reason I am so "condescending" to you is because it is how I was taught?

Don't go off saying that you have every right to be rude to me and condescend on me, and then turn around and demand respect from me. You have to earn my respect, I honestly don't give a shit if you are my mother.

You have every right to stop paying for Chatt State, but that doesn't mean I am going to stop going. If I have to, I will pay for it myself.
And by the way when I turn 18, if I want to dye my hair purple, get piercings and tattoos who the hell do you think you are to try and stop me?
And stop calling me and idiot just because I am not Christian. It's really starting piss me off and embitter me even more towards you and Christianity.=

When I leave and rarely contact you, then please know it is your own fault.

Signed,
Your very distanced and embittered daughter.

Gackt song analysis

2008-09-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

Mood: moved
Music: Cube
Location: Home in East Ridge

For lack of anything else better to post, I've decided to share my views on two of my favorite Gackt songs.

Before I begin I should probably tell you: Gackt is Japanese Pop artist and....
I LOVE THIS MAN! He is my favorite music artist of all time, and I know you guys either don't know about Him or think it's weird that I listen to Japanese music, but by posting these song analysis I hope I'll be able to show you why he is my favorite.

I will post two very different songs by him, so that I can compare and contrast them and show how diverse and deep this Man is.

"Kimi no Tame ni Dekiru Koto"(eng: What can I do for You?) music video. Translated lyrics

This song is so hopelessly adorable. There are really no other words for it. He sings about being hopelessly in love~
Seriously read the lyrics; but beware of cavities! It's so sweet it'll rot your teeth out.

"Cube" live performance since it is not a single. Translated lyrics

This is the b side of the very same single above, it was only released with that single and was not released on a cd, yet it is still one of my favorites by Him.
The song is kind of difficult to describe, if you watch the performance closely you can see Him make short jerky movements to imitate a robot.
He speaks of his greatest sin/fear, which is becoming inhuman, like a robot or "boxed in soul"~hence the name "Cube."
I think I might be reading into this song a bit too much. ^^;;;

Be expecting more of these!

Because I got high, da da da da

2008-09-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Mood: High
Music: Nothing
Location: Chatt State library

Oh god.
Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.
You guys aren't going to like this.
I've done something bad, real bad.....

I think I should probably just start this by saying how my day has gone so far.

I had Govt first thing this morning, but the teacher sent out an email saying that he wasn't going to be there but it told us to come to class anyway.
So most of us showed up, expecting a substitute to arrive.
After about 10 minutes of waiting I started to talking to some people sitting around me, and found out that most of them were in MCHS also.
Needless to say, we hit it off pretty well.

After about another 5 minutes we figured that no one would show up, so we got everyone to sign a paper and show that we had been present for over 15 minutes[see they can't penalize you, if you wait in a class for at least 15 minutes with the teacher still not there and you leave] and then everyone left the class.
While we were walking out of the building they aked if I would like to share a blunt with them, and obviously I agreed.

And whelp here I am now. I must say, being high is a verrrrrry nice feeling. I'll probably do it again.

Not that I'll let anyone of you guys find out! Teeheehee.

I also got one of them to go get me some cloves! So hopefully, I'll have some of those tomorrow. God it's been so long since I've had one.

Chatt State

2008-09-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

Mood: Hopeful
Music: The Raconteurs-"Hands"
Location: Home in East Ridge

I told myself and told myself to update this blog the first day I started Chatt State!
Well, as you can all see is that I obviously didn't. ^^;;;
In fact I forgot about this blog......Whoops. I really hope I continue to keep this thing going...

So, anyway, about Chatt State!
Here is my classes that I am enrolled for:
Introduction to the American Government
General Psychology
Developmental Math
RI 100
Composition English
Introduction to Dance

It's enjoyable, a whole lot better then ERHS, that is for sure. Walking around the campus is kind of surreal; because I only came up with the idea to apply there this spring! And there were so many times I thought I wouldn't actually get to go. But now I am here! It's just so amazing!
I feel infinite and un-fucking-stopable.
Mom can continue throwing her negative input my way; but I won't listen, I don't care about her or anyone else in the family's opinion! I just need to look on forward and not let my dream out of my sight.

Inspiring Illusion

2008-09-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Mood: Inspired
Music: VNV Nation "Illusion"
Location: Chatt State library

I found this just so inspiring and heart breaking that I had to share it.
Some person on Youtube put VNV Nation's song "Illusion" to the animation made by Andy Haung called "Doll Face."

It's truly a heart breaking and hopeful combination, I hope you enjoy.